lessons: ke$ha does EQUALITY

i've clearly been neglecting my music video watching duties boys and girls. because shit just got real on planet music video.

i could pretend i haven't seen the 'yawn this way' video by lady huge nose. but i'd be wrong because i saw it and i'm never going to be able to un-see it the same way john galliano wont be able to retract his love for a certain austrian fascist dictator.

i could review it. but it's overhyped, overblown and overlong. go HERE and judge for yourself.

naturally the gayz are up in arms about 'yawn this way' and there are some (a LOT) who herald hugenose with being the second coming (herself included). she's good, but about as christ-like as i am. this whole 'yawn this way' fiasco drips with disingenuousness.

it's almost as if she has killed gloria gaynor resurrected her with the power of elton john's dildo wand and caused her corpse to dance all over harvey milk's grave fat & naked, covered in glitter and shitting rainbows.

here's a much better video from ke$ha. that also features rainbows amongst some other stuff i like.

1. ke$ha being ke$ha. not ke$ha shamelessly exploiting a targeted demographic

2. people with UNICORN heads. uhh-mazing

3. gun shoes. slightly budget but you know, it's FINE

4. amusing puns on james van der beek's name

5. a RAINBOW GUN FIGHT

there's also a bit where they BOTH remove their bras. now that's REAL equality.

PEACE

lessons: it's ok to like ke$ha

first of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

second of all, there was no post last week because i was in berlin. if you've not been then i suggest you go and have a beer or two because it is very, very good. amongst other activities i got to:

- sing to my hearts content in monster ronson's ichiban kareoke: here.

- learn all i could about that pesky hitler bloke: here.

- pick up the latest copy of exberliner: here.

- and watch my friend conspicuously throw up on a table in a cool bar: here.

all in all, there was a good time had...by all. now to business.

i used to majorly slag off ke$ha for spelling her name with a dollar sign. I WAS WRONG. my time in uber liberal and sexy berlin taught me the error of my judgeMENTAL ways.

here's her alternative video for 'take it off'

here's why i like this video:

1. ke$ha

you show me the last young pop singer to have the balls to dress as trashy as she does. plus in this video she's half animal and stuff. she's like a were-cat only with more glitter and an army of gays. 10 POINTS

2. colour - fuck what you heard about being all dark and grey this winter. on planet pop EVERYTHING MUST BE BRIGHT AND FuCKING COLOurFUL.

3. jeffree star

i forgot this fag even existed. remember when he was the uber queer of myspace? remember when you cared? now he just shows up only to get annihilated by ke$ha's slut voodoo. bet you he wishes he'd spelt HIS name with a dollar sign.

4. animism

anything that suggests you have an inner animal totem is evidence that ke$ha is, you know, well meta and not a total slag wagon at all.

5. ke$ha

because she's not katy fucking perry.

anybody who spells their name with a dollar sign: LOSES

here is a song from person who is (apparently) friends with katy perry. it's called TiK tOk:

some questions for the day:

1) ok but who is this?

2) where has she crawled from?

3) why is she number six in the uk charts?

she is kesha apparently. a bit like uffy only...not. from what we gather in this video she seems to really like sleeping in baths. like really. she starts the video off in a bath; ends it in a bath. always with one shoe off. so clearly she is a form of bath vampire only able to frolic lots if she gets a full nights kip in the tub.

that's two of our questions answered then. she is kesha and she crawled from YOUR BATH.

she is not number six because of this video. here's why.

so she sleeps in baths with only one shoe. ok. is that even her house? we v.much doubt it. she's probably been taking drugs and "getting wrecked". tsk. what would emmeline pankhurst say?

kesha then encounters a very strait-laced family. this is cool because she's clearly a wreckdouche and they're into jesus and rules. WOW. feel the divide in that room. that's where the comedy comes from kids. (note: this has never been done before). and she made mom drop the pancakes. dont hate her jesusfolk - she knows not what she does!!!!!ZOMG

so not only is keshadouche a pancake smasher she's got v.funny taste in bikes. big gold number. and now she's talking to children. and taking their boombox. what an utter thundercunt. we reckon she could afford her own boombox if she actually stopped living like a gypo and ditched the whole sleep in a bath with one shoe on malarky.

she's going to suck off the 118 boy in the car isn't she? maybe not.

right: if this cow is so hardcore why doesn't she kick moustache man out and drive herself? because she's on drugs REMEMBER! god.

ah she's made it to the club. well done love. clearly on far too much ketamine though right? oh maybe it's not a club. maybe it's an illegal rave. sorry did we say "illegal" we meant "genericandnotinanywayinteresting".

THERE IS SOMEONE IN THIS PARTY WEARING RIPPED JEANS. oh shit it's her.

there we have it folks. you've seen the future and it's ke$ha. (note: that is actually how you spell her name)