lessons: my birthday is exactly like this

here's a video of what i'll be doing for the rest of the week

Madonna - Celebration
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i'm selling the dress to anne widdecombe when i'm done.

peace

lessons: take that should cut the TWAT

you know that feeling when you look in the sock drawer and think "i just need to reduce my amount of socks by 75%". i cant help feeling that's what four fifths of take that feel like whenever they look at robbie.

here's 'the flood'

first, let me say that i never really 'got' take that. they split up when i was more pre-occupied with deciding which spice girl i was going to be at break time (clue: it rhymes with 'berry'). but they were pretty huge.

here's a brief summary:

1995 - take that break up because robbie williams is a big douche

2006 - take that reform as a foursome without robbie who is busy being a big douche

2010 - take that decide to let robbie, the world renowned big douche, rejoin the band. on the same day VIMRS cries himself to sleep in despair. they become boring and cant dance anymore because robbie is too fat.

if each member of take that was a constituent body part robbie williams is definitely the ARSE of the whole operation. he's like school in the summer time: no class.

he is a chunky shit. who does he think he is getting fat? gary barlow? (note: gary is definitely better than this butter lusting chunk fiend)

i draw your attention to how much fun take that were having when he wasn't around

LOOK at them doing 'shine'

if take that are reading this (i know you love me jason but we cant be together. not after your williams-shaped betrayal) then please realise that:

YOU DO NOT NEED ROBBIE WILLIAMS IN ORDER TO REMAIN POPULAR!

mark is a decent lead, gary is a fine songwriter and jason and crackhead are fairly good dancers. honestly, cut the fat and be good again. he's only going to break your hearts by sitting on them with his huuuuge, coke-fuelled fatty mcfat butt cheeks. you have been warned.

ps - vote for wagner

pps - it wasn't all take twat monochrome boredom this week. kate and wills are getting married. HOORAY

arts cuts? what arts cuts?

here's the video for 'backyard superman' by eric ness. he's some musician who got sergej hein to direct his latest music video.

this video is on vimeo. ooooooh. the thinking blogger's youtube.

Backyard Superman from Sergej Hein on Vimeo.

it's budget but still fun. see, screw the tories taking away all our money - we can still do art LOL

a man, presumed to be eric ness flies into a house perched on top of an east london flat.

he has four severed heads lying around his flat which is disturbing if you stop to think about it.

he's trying to impress a girl who totally isn't interested. which is weird really because if i met a guy who could fly and carried severed heads round in his backpack then i'd go out with him, purely through fear.

who are those heads? are they past lovers? they've clearly wronged him in some way. it's ok they look like douchelords. they're the type of people who vote for katie waissel on sex factor.

GET RID OF THE BITCH NOW NOW NOW SHE IS A LOOOOOOSER

well that was weird.

ps - rebecca ferguson is from liverpool like me. she's PYAH BOSS

FIRE BERK is BEAUTIFUL

as it's the 5th of november i'm doing a firework related video. it's called "firework" by katy perry.

for some reason katy made the video "private" so i cant watch it on youboob so we're using dailymotion.

get over it

Katy Perry - Firework (Official Music Video)
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let it be known that i don't like katy perry. she's basically a try hard version of zooey deschanel who cant sing live for toffee. i did have a bit to say about how she compensated for this by being zany (PURPLE HAIR? YOU CRAZY BITCH LOL) but...yeah.

she's doing that thing recording artists occasionally do when they "reach out" to their fans with some inspirational "message" about tuning into their own inner awesomeness. or some shit.

the last person to successfully exploit the fat girl/homo/misfit/bully victim/anorexic/tranny/weirdo market was christina aguilera with her heartfelt "beautiful" video. katy's "firework" is a clear re-working:

both have gays

both have girls with body issues

and both have a strong female role model who serves to inspire these kids out of adversity

katy perry

christina aguilera

and people exploding. gotta say i DO like fireworks. but if folk started running about with what is basically a really lame x-men power i'd sort of be like "hey katy! LOVE the firework thing but what would be really impressive is if you sang live on x-factor"

WOOPSY

happy bonfire night.

ps - vote for wagner