Tuesday, 20 October 2009

the yacht of untruth or why nobody wants to play with taio

ever wandered about the manic, depraved and scintillating sex lives of the rich and not that famous? step aboard Taio Cruz's yacht of debauchery and expensive eye-wear.


now this is progressive and refreshing isn't it? firstly its interracial and even better than that: they're both swingers.

and they're being honest with each other about the fact they might break one another's hearts. how sweet. nobody does that type of thing these days. it's all "yeah i love you and i'll love only you from now till the day i die in a speed-boating accident" and greetings cards and poems. what utter balls.

but wait! taio cruz and his unnamed two dimensional speedboat loving girlfriend are the pioneers for the "he's just not that into you" generation. they're honest and upfront about the entire charade of a relationship they're about to perform.

or are they????

you see, despite all this talk of "i'm going to break your heart ho" and "am gawna fuck your best buddy playa" it soon becomes clear that they shall do nothing of the sort. what lies. what deceit. what sheer cowardice. they talk the talk my friends, but do they walk the fucking walk?

they do A walk to a yacht full of painfully unmemorable extras. the purpose of which would appear to demonstrate our protagonists infidelity toward one another. except that nobody on this yacht seems interested in doing so.

there is talking and dancing which is pretty standard at a party, right? maybe they do things differently at sea.

eitherway, taio and nameless lady clearly aren't going to fuck anyone on this yacht. maybe they smell bad or something. instead they decide to go whizzing across the high seas on a very wide speed boat. it is girth that counts after all. no wonder nameless lady seems so pleased.

well that was disappointing. taio and whatsherface claim they're all fuck loose and fanny free but in reality they'd just go for a nice drive. on the sea. goes to show you can have as many yachts and sunglasses as you like but it still wont get you laid.

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