Friday, 13 November 2009

the 10th post or why shakira is better than you

ok boys and girls. the time has come to review shakira's she-wolf.

something fucking fantastically sexualandamazing

five good/amazing/painfully erection inducing things about the 'she-wolf' video

1) shakira

2) shakira's clothes

3) shakira's dancing

4) shakira's empowerment

5) shakira's inspiring of the 'he-wolf' video.

1) shakira - just look at her. go on. LOOK at shakira. she's in front of the full moon. looking coyly at the camera. looking threateningly at the camera. looking sexily at the camera. her acting skills are just unparalleled. at 1:52 onwards (when she is dancing in a crowd full of people) her acting skills are SO good that she blurs out the faces of all around her. plus she's colombian.

2) shakira's clothes - she has three outfits in this video. one which comes right at the end (which is not getting discussed because it's a shit part of the video so WHATEVER).

first: the asymmetrical leotard that has clearly been borrowed from another huge popstar. we'll call her yemonce (with a little accent on the 'e'. still. we 'aint naming names). it suits our shakira though. it's almost as if she's not wearing clothes!

until you see outfit number 2: the body condom. this again looks like something that old bird britney spears wore in the toxic video. only britney's had diamonds scattered all over it. that's the problem with hand-me-downs i suppose. it still works though; showing shakira to be young woman of substance, chastity and something else. it doesn't encourage people to masturbate AT ALL. save the spermatic economy from recession folks! DON'T MASTURBATE!

3) shakira's dancing - standing at the divide between good and bad/slavery and freedom/ contortionism and lotslots of yoga. it just makes no sense. and its brilliant. lots of pelvic hip thrusts, jerky movements, odd body popping and sticking her fingers in her mouth (this will seduce you). the bit in the cage deserves a nobel prize for being fucking amazing.

4) shakira's empowerment - it may appear that to say a woman dancing provocatively in a cage is sexist or misogynistic. this is a falsehood. because it is not 'shakirashakira' the person in the cage; it is shakira the she-wolf or 'loba' as one would say in spanish. besides that cage is pretty roomy. big enough to get all those arms and legs aslingin'. quit bitchin' feminism.

5) shakira's inspiring of the 'he-'wolf' video - just watch it:

yeah. my work here is done.


  1. Totally agree, Shakira in she-wolf: AMAZING, I want to be her.

    Also, I NEED to have a dance off with this he-wolf fella.

  2. bet you're well chuffed she's on x-factor tonight!

  3. i was deadexcited for it loads! but she didn't do she-wolf. why would she EVER not do she-wolf?

    actually here's why:

    she does EXACTLY the same poo performance on some otherdouche programme: