Tuesday, 24 November 2009

is leona happy? CAPITAL NO

yeah this leona chick won x-factor or something. here's her new video: here.

she's got a lot of emotions this woman.

there she is feeling a wedding dress and looking mopey. does she want to get married? or not? make your mind up leona, we havn't got all day. we have to get you to a book punching/signing.

(note: whilst we're on the subject of punching leona lewis, my only question is WHY? has there ever been anyone less offensive or controversial than leona fucking lewis??? see! even that sentence looks weird because you never associate leona with fucking anything! least of all the word 'fuck'. i was just about to illustrate my point with a cursory look at her status updates on facebook all of which i imagined would look something like this:

Leona is at home

Leona is not at home

Leona is at mum's house

Leona is going to bed

but what i found was better than all that. she doesn't say anything. her page is one of those lamoshitty famous person pages where the star in question contributes nothing. as is "her" twitter. LOOK!

maybe this is why she got punched? because she's so unpresent or whatever. unpresent people DO indeed suck. fuck all unpresent people. except fritzl, he can be unpresent if he wants.)

so she's in sarejevo or wherever just hanging out and being leona. probably STILL going on about how she won the x-factor. bet all her friends are sick of hearing that. IT'S ALL ABOUT JEDWARD NOW BITCH! (although not really coztheygotvotedoff. irish)

there's an odd bit at 1:34 where she's in a car having 'a laugh' again. it's almost exactly like that "dont drug and drive" advert where everyones got massive pill eyes. except this is a leona lewis video and drugs do NOT exist. GOT THAT?!!! NO FUCKING DRUGS!!! OR FUCKING!!! just leona lewis and x-factor. (do you know she won? a few years back yeah. amazingly talented that girl.)

oooh poor leona though. the dude she wants to hold hands with in the church is actually marrying some other slag. and not leona. what a shitty thing to do eh?! i mean, don't hold hands in the church with someone if you don't want to fuck them up the arse lots and maybe be bumchums for a bit. was never cool. never will be cool. there's today's lesson folks.

oh yeah and if you see leona; give the old bird some punch. not a punch.


  1. Leona hasn't got a twitter account - that's a fan page (there's a big clue in the Unofficial tag on the twitter page).

    She's said on numerous occasions she doesn't do social media like facebook.

  2. Also, can we talk about the fact that she's in Cuba?
    ps your link didn't work in Deutschland, but this one did: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIW0bhtcOTk

  3. Love the Facebook updates, they're exactly how I dreamed they would be!

    I'm kind of over the whole Leona ballad/slow song type things. She should maybe up the tempo, just a smidgen though.

  4. i want to facebook like this, but im probably not allowed or something.

    did you know she won x factor?