Tuesday, 10 November 2009

anybody who spells their name with a dollar sign: LOSES

here is a song from person who is (apparently) friends with katy perry. it's called TiK tOk:

some questions for the day:

1) ok but who is this?

2) where has she crawled from?

3) why is she number six in the uk charts?

she is kesha apparently. a bit like uffy only...not. from what we gather in this video she seems to really like sleeping in baths. like really. she starts the video off in a bath; ends it in a bath. always with one shoe off. so clearly she is a form of bath vampire only able to frolic lots if she gets a full nights kip in the tub.

that's two of our questions answered then. she is kesha and she crawled from YOUR BATH.

she is not number six because of this video. here's why.

so she sleeps in baths with only one shoe. ok. is that even her house? we v.much doubt it. she's probably been taking drugs and "getting wrecked". tsk. what would emmeline pankhurst say?

kesha then encounters a very strait-laced family. this is cool because she's clearly a wreckdouche and they're into jesus and rules. WOW. feel the divide in that room. that's where the comedy comes from kids. (note: this has never been done before). and she made mom drop the pancakes. dont hate her jesusfolk - she knows not what she does!!!!!ZOMG

so not only is keshadouche a pancake smasher she's got v.funny taste in bikes. big gold number. and now she's talking to children. and taking their boombox. what an utter thundercunt. we reckon she could afford her own boombox if she actually stopped living like a gypo and ditched the whole sleep in a bath with one shoe on malarky.

she's going to suck off the 118 boy in the car isn't she? maybe not.

right: if this cow is so hardcore why doesn't she kick moustache man out and drive herself? because she's on drugs REMEMBER! god.

ah she's made it to the club. well done love. clearly on far too much ketamine though right? oh maybe it's not a club. maybe it's an illegal rave. sorry did we say "illegal" we meant "genericandnotinanywayinteresting".


there we have it folks. you've seen the future and it's ke$ha. (note: that is actually how you spell her name)

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