Wednesday, 11 November 2009

the tragic fate of stefani gaga or APPLEaReEVIL

she's so normal that stefani germanotta. so v. down to earth. don't you think? despite garnering worldwide musical fame and stardom she still manages to keep a level head and not get carried away by her own image/hype.

in the video for 'bad romance' however it seems an evil bastardman has been DRUGGING (yes, actual naughty drugs) poor stef and making her do things she wouldn't normally do. ever.

opening on an immobile stefani it is quite clear she has been tranquilised. possibly through the evil black iPod sitting the left of her. we knew steve jobs would have a hand in this exploitation. after all, 'Apple' is the fruit that tempted eve. and what was coiled around the 'Apple' tree? that's right boys and girls: SATAN.

next we see that other bastion of pain and darkness masquerading as light: the tanning salon. this one looks extra evil too. its made everyone look like the ku klux klan with new outfits designed by karl lagerfeld. see. they do much more than give you the badcancer.

she may look like she's dancing; but on the inside stef is screaming "LET ME GO YOU NAZI EVILPERSONS!" why wont anyone help her?

now she's being given alcohol. the devil's naughtyjuice ladies und gents. it'll make you lose your morals. and in stef's case: her clothes.

see stefani's eyes at 1:25 everybody? that right there is called C-O-C-A-I-N-E. or maybe it's ecstasy? all you need to know is that it's bad folks. when that boy in da club offers you some mysterious white powder to whack up your nostrilz, beckoning you into a cubicle infront of the amiable toilet attendant, remember 1:25 of this video. remember little stefi, and reconsider what you're about to sniff.

sadly. not everyone has the luxury of choice you have. certainly not little stefani germanotta.

they've dressed her in a chandelier and made her do a "sexy" stripper dance. and as we all know; the sexiest thing you can do in life is pray to jesus and ask him to help you stop thinking about kissing boys. yeah. you pray to jesus.

the cruelty continues at 3:44. they've slaughtered stefani's pet polarr bear nathaniel!!! how could they?! unutterable bastardos. and she's wearing him like a rug/coat/robeofevilsatanpower. and she doesn't even realise. oh the ursinity!

now they're about to make stef do something she will regret. namely be in the same room as a man with a golden chin-guard.

oh stef what have they done to you? she's incinerating the room. that particular drug is called darkdevilpowerpowder or "twiglets" for short. (remember to hide twiglets from your young. send them to me instead)

what have we learnt here today?

1) stay away from tanning salons

2) and cocaine

3) and never EVER wear anything designed by karl lagerfeld again. for fear of racial discrimination.

ine lovinge memorie ofe stefani germanooter



  1. Wrong that his video makes drugs, drinking, stripping, prostitution and murder (in that order) seem so attractive?

  2. all kinds of wrong.

    if you could murder someone with your boobs though...then things change.