Tuesday, 3 November 2009

should have gone to morrisons OR blundering buble and the supermarket of DOOM

first of all, did anyone else know michael buble looked like that? it was a pleasant surprise for us too.

and so. to mike's new video for "Haven't met you Yet"

mike is shopping and being bored. hurling pizzas and ready meals for one into his shuffling shopping trolley of singledom. we've all been there.

to shake things up a bit he starts sitting on a shelf which is fine with the staff of killarney market. sounds irish. first sign of danger there. you know what the irish are like, just look at louis walsh. DE BLARRRRNEY STOOOOONE.

so once mike is done sitting on a shelf he encounters a v.attractive lady in the frozen foods section. how shoddy. she should be making all her dinner from scratch in preparation for when she's a neat little housewife surely? no. her purpose is much darker and sinister than mike can know.

evidently this bitch cares naught for trifling things such as rules and social etiquette; she starts walking on the fucking shelves. with mike. STAY AWAY MIKE! she's leading you down a slippery slope of irish devilry; a place where people dance in supermarkets. all so wrong.

this "super"market is staffed, by the way, with breakdancers posing as shelf-stackers. why are they here? why aren't they auditioning for step up 3: the subway? (a film that REALLY needs to get made. hop to it spielberg).

it all gets a bit supermarket creep from 1:50 onwards. mike floats on a bed with that brazen irish tart. he then floats around in a phone box. then has a marching band appear in aisle 4. its witchcraft if you ask us. irish druidic weird shit voodoo. WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE DANCING? shopping is not, nor never should be this entertaining. one dreads to think what dark power they're about to invoke. it wouldn't be that surprising if mike was happily placed into a gigantic wicker statue of louis walsh and set aflame. still singing; still unaware of his oncoming frazzley demise.


it was all a fucking dream. phew. what utter relief.

as mike leaves this shopping hell of nightmares he sees the very woman with whom he danced a voodoo jig. he decides to not say hello and go home. this is all a bit like final destination where the main character is saved from a grisly end by a premonition.

thank your lucky stars bublay. go to morrisons next time.

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